It wasn’t them…

04/03/2010 at 8:56 AM (Rants, WoW)

Okay, so maybe it was.

The Hunting Lodge inspired me to today. Their post was about In-game relationships. I’d contemplated a similar post, though based around my own rather than ‘typical’ relationships as they talked about. What really inspired me to actually write about this subject was the repeated phrase “It’s not you, it’s me” throughout the original post. I got to thinking: when I left <Revenged> was it them or me? The truth of the matter was: both.

<Revenged> is a wonderful guild. Family always comes before games, play-time (raids, randoms, etc) are always fun and amusing even with the seriousness required to accomplish some goals. They’re helpful to those just beginning to play and help level and gear you to a point where you can enter a pugged random and not either be vote kicked out or have someone leave just because of you gear-score or low DPS. They care about what happens in your personal lives, and give you advice to get you through some tough spots. <Revenged> is a great guild… if you’re not me.

I joined <Revenged> mainly because it was my boyfriend’s guild and he really wanted me to become part of that community. I mean, yeah, we had <Fritos> (Ask Fealen about it, he knows the story behind the guild) but <Revenged> was his family and the main reason he continued to play WoW even when it was rough on our relationship (before I agreed to play). I’d made good friends with the GM and his wife, along with a few other guildies. They became my own little family, the way Fealen had described it be. But as time went on I found myself disliking getting on vent or being in gchat because of the people outside of my little safe-circle. Things said for jokes or amusement, not meant to be personal, were personal to me for outside reasons. And, to top it off, the pressure to do something that I disliked (raid) was always there when I was signed in.

It wasn’t until I had been a part of SAN long enough to make connections with new people, in a guild not based around raiding, that I discovered what my problem was. Revenged is a raiding guild, everyone in the guild at some time or another during the week goes raiding… except me. ‘One of these things is not like the others.’ I thought about it, then one day told the GM and my little circle that I would stay on the serer but I couldn’t stay in the guild. I joined Fritos again and still chat with my little circle.

Do I miss Revenged? Not really. Gchat was amusing on occasion, but also crude and full of the type of chatter that I hear from my guy friends irl. I found SAN to be an escape from the crude, disrespectful chat that filled Revenged’s gchat and vent. I do miss doing things with my little circle. Every now and again I jump on to see how many of them are about, see if they will do a daily with me… but most of the time they aren’t around when I am or are too busy.

So the excuse, “it isn’t you, it’s me” doesn’t fit my situation. But neither does “it’s you, not me.” I suppose my case is one of the few “we’ve both made mistakes, have both changed, and now it is time for us to move on.” I’ll always keep the small circle of people I found in Revenged close, they will always be part of my WoW family. In fact, some have come to SAN with me. But I don’t think I will ever go back to being a Revenged guildie. I owe them a lot for the experiences they gave me and the fun we had, but it was time for us both to move on.

Well, I suppose that is my rant for the day. Another to come soon. I lost my job so I will be around a lot more to be able to play/write.

Until next time!





  1. Brigwyn said,

    Heya Kai!

    First, sorry to hear about the job. That’s always tough. Good luck on your search.

    As for the post? I’m honored that you said I helped inspire you.

    Your post hits on a very critical point that I try to stress over and over again. Play with like minded folk.

    When you do that, you’ll be happier. Your guild will be happier, and yes even your out of game relationships could be happier.

    Oh! And as you probably guessed, the “It’s not you, it’s me.” title is more about breaking up or switching relationships than blame.But of course that went w/o sayong and now I sound like some troll with a bad Scottish accent. So I’ll leave my ramblings now. Lol

    Great post! Keep it up! And good luck with everyrhing. 🙂

    • Kainda said,

      Heya Brig,

      Thanks for commenting! Of course, I twisted your words to fit my needs, but it worked :-p

      Revenged was fun for the first like month or three, then I just got bored and tired of playing with them. I made Alts but that didn’t do me a whole lot of good because people from there still found me. The SAN came along. FREEDOM! Not to mention a place to go where everyone there is like me; a writer, a social guild member who likes to quest on their own or with a guildie while having random pointless (clean) conversations in gchat.

      Anywho. I’m getting scolded for being on the computer while the boyfriend wants to go out and about. Thanks for the comment, inspiration and well wishings! I hope you continue to read! ❤


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